Spiritual Jokes And Stories: The Funniest Spirituality Ever

Overheard: In response to I don't know what had just happened, someone spoke the meme, "Ah yes, it's a good thing that God has a sense of humor!"

But the reply was a slight twist, "How wonderful that God IS a sense of humor!"

Church Signs 2010 Mini Desk Calendar $8.99

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. This quote and others like it are included in this uplifting and funny calendar. Whether originally seen on church billboards or bumper stickers, these little sayings are sure to add a little inspiration and spirit to each day.

Published by Andrews McMeel

Two Landrovers almost collided at an African cross roads. One driver stuck his head out his window and shouted "Where are you going, for heavens sake?"

Billy Graham stuck his head out of the other vehicle's window and smilingly called back "I go everywhere for Heavens sake."

A story about this gentleman who knocks on his son's door.
"Jaime," he says, "wake up!"
Jaime answers, "I don't want to get up, Papa."
The father shouts, "Get up, you have to go to school."
Jaime says, "I don't want to go to school."
"Why not?" asks the father.
"Three reasons," says Jaime. "First, because it's so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school."
And the father says, "Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster."

Wake up, wake up! You've grown up.
You're too big to be asleep. Wake up! Stop playing with your toys.

From Anthony de Mello; More Anthony de Mello

A Nun asked her Sunday School class to write a note to God........

Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones You have? ~~Johnny

Dear GOD: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. ~~Nan

Dear GOD: I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. ~~Love, Alison

Dear GOD: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? ~~Norma

Dear GOD: I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? ~~Neil

Dear GOD: Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. ~~Joyce

Dear GOD: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before You can look it up. ~~Bruce

Dear GOD: If we come back as something - Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. ~~Denise

Dear GOD: My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? ~~Marsha

Dear GOD: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So I bet he stole your idea. ~~Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD: I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool. ~~Sara

You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, "What did that man pick up?" "He picked up a piece of Truth," said the devil. "That is a very bad business for you, then," said his friend. "Oh, not at all," the devil replied, "I am going to let him organize it."

An old drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, preacher, I sure am."

The minister dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asks. "Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up, and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I have not, Reverend."

The preacher, in disgust, holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water, and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

One woman says to another, "Poor Maisie really has suffered for what she believes in."

"And what DOES she believe in?" asks the other.

"She believes that you can wear a size six shoe on a size nine foot."

Mortal: What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second.

Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you?

God: Like one penny.

Mortal: Can I have a penny?

God: Just a second.